I could be writing on any topic, but today I choose one that is difficult to face and therefore important. Hopefully I’m not the only one experiencing this.  I’m constantly reading something, and usually it’s spiritual in one way or another and I know by theory what is the right way to be, to think, to act, or to feel.  We all do,  we all know how things should be.  The problem is that the theory does not always comply with reality, the reality that we are living or feeling.  I discovered a less nice side effect to my procrastination, a side effect that I’m not proud of.  As I was feeling bad about myself, I discovered that I was being less nice to others.  Now don’t misunderstand, I didn’t turn mean (thank God), but I wasn’t especially nice either.  I noticed that I made a comment to a friend that I otherwise would not have made, I noticed that I pushed a person who cares about me away, and I noticed that I was thinking more of my own well being than that of a friend who was trying to help me.  When I discovered this side effect I knew that it had always been with me, but I also knew in the same moment that it had been much worse when I was younger.  I’m so grateful when I have insights like this one, it gives me the opportunity to get rid of less desirable aspects of my personality.

“Pain in life is especially insidious because it can block the healing power of our souls, especially if we have not accepted what is happening to us as a preordained trial.”  Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, PhD, page 275,

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